Life has to go on because there was no embryo in me. I went back to work two days later. Halfway working, I received a call from the embryologist. She said that the third embryo had developed into a blastocyst on a Day 5. The grading system for blastocyst is different and the blastocyst was an A* grade.
The hidden sorrow in me was replaced with thankfulness. I felt revived. I will never forget that joy of relief in my heart.
Within the next few days, I shared with my husband about a growing guilt I had because I focused too much on the grades of the three embryos. These embryos have yet to proven themselves and I was already judging them. We should know that embryos of a lower grade have resulted in successful implantations, thus pregnancies. The grading system does not define the intelligence or health of the potential baby. (Such screenings are not performed in Singapore, at least not yet.) But it came so naturally for me to overly focus on a so-called A* grade embryo as it probably has a higher chance of implantation.
I turned to God and sought His forgiveness.
All embryos(which we were once developed from this stage) are potential babies. If I could conceive the natural way, I would not even be given a choice of embryos, let alone to endulge in self-pride for a moment by a grading system. As a potential mother, I felt it was a mistake to judge the embryos.